This page serves as a running list of quotes I’ve found funny/interesting/worth preserving. I’ll attribute them as best as possible.

  1. Same group of friends talking, October 2025
    1. “She wouldn’t know Jesus if she watched him come back to life”
    2. “Sundays are for the lord, the rest of the week are for the brain. I got exams to study for”
  2. “Is ‘be able’ one word or two?” “It’s two. B-e-e a-b-l-e” – Two seniors in college, October 2025
  3. “Sleep and I are playing hide and seek. Sleep is winning”. – Someone in the library, September 2025
  4. “Be careful with your ears. You have a finite number.” – Linguistics Professor, September 2025
  5. “In life there are some people you can’t get away from. If you have a family you know this” – Introduction to Graduate Studies Professor, September 2025
  6. “If you’re emailing a professor for opportunities don’t tell them how great you are. Tell them how great they are” – Introduction to Graduate Studies Professor, September 2025
  7. “Emailing professors is like dating apps. if you just go ‘whats up’ you’re not getting anywhere” – Introduction to Graduate Studies Professor, September 2025
  8. “if you’re gonna have sex you gotta take your clothes off” – People talking on a stoop, July 2025
  9. “what you don’t like Korean food?” “I like Koreans” “that wasn’t the question” – Conversation between two friends on the subway, November 2024
  10. “So we’re just running with this whole objectifying women thing?” – Drunk person, McDonalds, October 2019